When you have recently lost a loved one and had to arrange a funeral in the midst of your grief, it’s understandable that after the service you may feel that some closure is due and saying thank you to friends and family who attended might be the last thing you want to think about.

If you can manage to extend your gratitude to everyone in attendance then your guests are sure to appreciate it; however you may only feel able to extend a thank you to some of key people who played a part in the service, and everyone will understand.

The first thing to do is to compile a list of people you will need to thank. Some of the people we'd recommend including are:

  • The funeral officiant
  • The pallbearers
  • Those who delivered a eulogy or reading at the service
  • Anyone who helped organise the proceedings
  • A friend or family member who donated food / flowers / time
  • Those who donated to your chosen charity

Many people, especially of an older generation, might feel that an email or e-card is a little impersonal, in which case a hand written note would be much more fitting. If you don’t feel up to sending thank you cards, do not worry at all – people will understand that this is an extremely difficult time for you. If it’s more manageable, a phone call or message will suffice.

However if you would like to send something through the post, our personalised funeral thank you cards are available in a wide range of colours and styles, including some floral, rustic and modern designs to reflect your loved one’s style. You can personalise our thank you card templates online and we can print and deliver them to you within a few short days. The cards come with a blank reverse for an optional hand written note, but equally they are designed so that they still look lovely without the written words, just in case you don't feel able to do this.

When it comes to writing your thank you cards, it’s perfectly acceptable to keep it brief and simple. You can simply choose to write a few sentences such as "Thank you so much for your kindness and generous donation. It means a lot to the family at this difficult time." Alternatively, if you’re writing a thank you card to someone who was close to the deceased, you may want to include a fond anecdote or story from the relationship which will bring back treasured memories.

If you’re thanking somebody for a specific act of support or a donation, why not mention this in particular and let them know the impact of their generosity? For example, if a friend created a floral display, you could write something along the lines of "The flowers you gifted were wonderful because we know Mum would have admired them and taken so much pleasure from such a beautiful display. We are truly grateful."

Or if a neighbouring family brought you a home-cooked meal to help you through a difficult time, perhaps express your gratitude and tell them that it was one less thing to worry about, which you deeply appreciated.

There is no right or wrong time to send a thank you card after a funeral or celebration of life. Etiquette states that sending them within 2 weeks is best; however your friends and family will appreciate that this is a difficult time for you, so if it takes longer to send them, do not worry.